Walk the Stars
by The End of Infinity
Summary: When Suzuka's bloody past comes back to haunt her, who does she have to turn to? Is it possible that they can share their sorrows together?**Suzuka/Gene**


Walk the Stars  
  
By: Nicotai – A.k.a. Fumetsu Hono'o  
  
A/N: This is my first Outlaw Star fic, so please have mercy. This will only contain one chapter, or maybe two. It deals with Suzuka trying to reconcile with her past and forget her blood-imbued hands. If you don't like Gene/Suzuka fanfiction, then I suggest you turn away. If you would like to try something new, be my guest and read on. Also, Gene and Suzuka are slightly OOC. Fair warning.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the anime 'Outlaw Star', it belongs to it's respectable owners.  
  
".." = Spoken words  
  
/../ = A thought  
  
((..))= A note from me  
  
-~*~-  
  
The Outlaw Star drifted silently through space. The grappler ship was fresh from freedom, and was recovering from it's previous trip to seek the Galactic Leiline (sp?).  
  
It's outside was peaceful, deceptive to the turmoil within. For one soul it seemed, was coping with a bloody past. An assassin by name and nature, Suzuka was falling. Her life had become an abysmal hell-pit, from which there was no escape. How could one run from their past? The black haired beauty mulled this thought over and over, and it was a rare moment when one could find her at peace, and not brooding over her own history.  
  
The others within the ship seemed oblivious to her troubles, Jim and Aisha with their newfound romance, Gene was back to his old habit of drinking and indulging with the female specie, something which had Melfina extremely distraught. So there was no chance of anyone noticing Suzuka's sudden onslaught of depression.  
  
-~*~-  
  
Suzuka's POV  
  
What am I worth? Trouble to others? I'm more danger to myself than anyone now.. Of course I've left my old ways behind, no one dares call me 'Twilight Suzuka' anymore, save for Gene, who seems to find humor in my old title. I don't find it to be a laughing matter. For days now I've heard the last cries of the people I slaughtered, and in visions I've seen what they saw, felt the terror as I drew my last breath and knew it well. I felt their emotions, the agony, the hatred, the sadness and final recognition that death's grip was only moments away.  
  
I'm terrified.  
  
I can feel nothing, nothing but emptiness within. I don't have the heart to laugh at Gene's immaturity, or Aisha's stupidity. I've even lost my taste for my beloved tea. So here I sit, in my quarters on the good ship the Outlaw Star. Silent tears trail down my moist cheeks, moisture for the dead. Why just now do I grieve? Perhaps it was the fact that I've finally faced my past, and what I saw was horrible. I stare at my hands and see nothing but blood, and no matter how many times I cleanse them I can't rid them of their crimson stain. I can't sleep at nights, and when blessed sleep does grace me with it's presence, my dreams and their false reality is riddled with nightmares.  
  
I can't face the others anymore, I look into their faces and see only the ones who I've murdered. They could've been added to that fallen menagerie, but my savior, Gene Starwind, saved me from that. He showed me the error in my ways, and now I admit that I admire him. I envy his immaturity, how can a killer seem so innocent? Why does he not mourn his victims? He is strong, though he hides it with childlike character. And partly for that, I hate him. I loathe him for the fact that he can kill and maintain his pride, his dignity, and most of all his emotions. He denies any kind of feeling above friendship with Melfina, but I know they share something. What, I'm not sure, but something is still… Something.  
  
It's better than the nothingness in which I am lost.  
  
End Suzuka's POV  
  
-~*~-  
  
It was nighttime onboard the Outlaw Star, though their was no distinction between night and day in space, the crew's bodies seemed to tell them of their need for sleep. Jim, Gene, Melfina and Aisha were still running on their last visited planets time, and at the moment it was nearing midnight.  
  
Gene Starwind yawned and tossed the covers from his scar-covered body. He stood up, stretched, and yawned once more. He stumbled towards the bathroom, running a hand through his reddish hair. He was nearly to his destination, when he heard a sound from Suzuka's room. His body stiffened at the strange noise, he had to prepare himself for the trouble that could possibly ensue. Was their a stowaway bent on revenge within their ship? Shaking his head in an attempt to rid himself of sleep's fog, Gene allowed his hand to rest on the control panel to the door. He tapped a blue button lightly, and the door slid open with a silent hiss.  
  
-~*~-  
  
Gene tiptoed towards the edge of the wall where he could catch a glimpse of Suzuka, and still remain hidden within the shadows. He was not prepared for what came next.  
  
The assassin, supposedly strong-willed and kept under a calm demeanor, was sitting on her bed, crying.  
  
-~*~-  
  
Suzuka's POV  
  
I had awoken from yet another nightmare. This time the families, friends and lovers of those I killed ganged up on me, and destroyed me in a slow, torturous way. And when my vision had nearly faded within that dream, they painted words on a wall with my own lifeblood: "Killer for Hire".  
  
Tears once again ran down my face, falling to the sheets, which were already soaked with cold sweat. I pulled my knees to my chin and sobbed. How could I have done this? There was no reason but one, temporary insanity.  
  
A gasp reached my ears, and when I looked up I saw none other than Gene Starwind, standing near the door to my closet, hidden partially by the shadows cast by my bookcase. Damn. How could I explain this? How could I tell him that this was because of my torn past, the darkness which shrouded my life?  
  
How could I face his pity?  
  
End Suzuka's POV  
  
-~*~-  
  
For minutes their was no sounds but Suzuka's choked sobs and Gene's light breathing. Then finally, he spoke.  
  
"What's wrong Suzu?" Gene asked, his eyes were serious and contained a glint of comprehension and pure concern. Suzuka managed a small smile, nothing but a twitch at the corners of her mouth. It was caused by the use of her nickname, the one brought on by the Ctarl-Ctarl, Aisha.  
  
"Gene.. This is none of your concern.. Please leave me be." She whispered, barely able to speak past the large lump in her throat. She lowered her gaze to her knees, her reddened eyes throbbed with pain from her mournful tears. Gene considered her request, but briefly. He moved slowly forward, finally reaching the edge of her bed and sitting down.  
  
"I can't do that, Suzu. I have to look out for my crew. Now tell me what the matter is." He spoke softly, as though he really, truly did care.  
  
Could she trust him? Could she confide in him? Was he to be trusted with her innermost thoughts and feelings? Forgetting everything, including the consequences of revealing the truth to a man who she herself could hardly trust, she cleared her mind and silently screamed, a mute warning to what was about to come.  
  
For the first time in her life, Twilight Suzuka wanted nothing more than to be held.  
  
-~*~-  
  
Suzuka lurched forward, propelled by the want to have someone near. Gene caught her, swept up in a wave of ebony hair. He was unsure of what to do, then finally wrapped his arms around her. The least he could do was provide some sort of comfort.  
  
They stayed like that for awhile, neither was unsure of how long it lasted. The only movements were from Suzuka's shoulders as she cried, or when Gene rubbed her back. And when it was possible, Suzuka finally revealed what plagued her, a bit at a time.  
  
"Gene… Do you feel regret?" She asked, her voice a bit muffled by his shirt.  
  
"How so?" He said, gently pushing her away from him by her shoulders.  
  
"For.. Killing. Don't you ever mourn them? Haven't you ever wondered what it was like to draw in your last breath and wonder what was to come?" She whispered, as two fresh tears streaked down her face.  
  
Gene just stared in slight shock. The assassin felt remorse? For once Gene dropped his immaturity and took on a stern gaze.  
  
"Sometimes… I wonder what things would have been like… If I had never harmed them. But look at me now Suzu, I'm a mockery to the human race." A bitter laugh escaped Gene's throat, as he continued. "An Outlaw, nothing but a drunk womanizer who has nothing better to do than get in a good lay. I'm sick of this, all the lonely nights, waking up in the morning and wondering who was lying next to me. You see, we both feel regret, though for different things."  
  
Suzuka nodded slowly. She was incredibly surprised at how he spoke, with such intelligence!  
  
"Melfina.. I feel bad for her. I know I'm just not good enough. I don't want to hurt her.. And I know I could never feel more than friendship for her. She's a good person, but I don't think she could ever understand the things I do, or what I have done." The Outlaw squeezed his eyes shut, and surprisingly a single crystal tear fell from his eye. And Suzu looked down at the sheets, so it was true. He was nothing more than a companion to Mel.  
  
"But-"  
  
"No 'buts' Suzu. You dwell too much in the past." He said, slipping a finger beneath her chin and tilting her tear-stained face upwards. He leaned forward and kissed away her tears. Suzuka shied away from him, would she end up on his list? Another nameless face? One more woman to fall victim to his surprising charm?  
  
Gene sighed and looked at the ex-assassin before him. He was sick of his lifestyle, how did he put up with it? And for perhaps the first time in his life, Gene felt more than just lust for the opposite sex, a stirring within his stomach which occurred only when he glimpsed into the eyes of the girl before him. Was it love? Impossible.. Or was it? He had to tell her, the truth for once. Gene was tired of being seen as an idiot! Heck, even Jim seemed smarter than him. And they were both grieving, mourning the inevitable past which could never be altered. So why not share their sorrows together? Gene pounded the bed with his fist in frustration. This required so much thinking!!! Finally he looked up and into Suzuka's eyes.  
  
"I need you to listen to me… I'll only say this once, most likely because I'm to dumb to be able to say it again." She nodded, sensing the urgency within his voice. He made sure she was paying attention and continued. "I want you to help me, and in return, I'll help you. Let's forget all this shit, together. I feel something for you, Suzuka. It hurts to see you cry, I'm not sure why, but it does. I want you to know that you're not alone. Everyone has something they want to forget, but that's not always possible. I want these tears to be the last ones you cry."  
  
Totally touched and moved, Suzuka sat there in stunned silence. /Is this really Gene Starwind?/ She wondered.  
  
"If you promise that I won't become another name on your list." She mumbled, still too shocked to speak coherently.  
  
"I swear to it." He replied, finally leaning in and kissing her. It started as unsure and sloppy, finally deepening into complete and utter passion. Finally they both felt the need for air, and broke apart, gasping for the oxygen which their lungs yearned for.  
  
And for the first time in a very long time, both felt complete.  
  
-~*~-  
  
Suzuka's POV  
  
Is this a dream? Some twisted form of torture? Was I really just kissed by the man which I had once deemed incompetent? And why is it that I feel strangely satisfied? And most of all, why is it that my sorrows seemed to have melted away? I no longer feel fear.. And now I realize it. This is what everyone has striven to feel, loved. The people I.. killed.. They must've felt this once to, and for that I'm glad. I realize that though my past will forever be, and my sorrows will always stay, but when you have a shoulder to cry on, and someone to hold you when you need to be held, they won't matter as much, sadness will just become another bump on the road of life.  
  
And why is it that I feel the sudden urge to drink my beloved tea? Has my happiness been restored? No.. But that will surely come in time, just as the deepest wounds heal, mine will. Of that I'm sure.  
  
End Suzuka's POV  
  
-~*~-  
  
For many minutes the two just stared into each other's eyes, and for the first time they were both fully aware of one another, and for the fact that the feelings both felt were mutual.  
  
"I guess I should head back to my room." Gene chuckled, returning to the bumbling idiot everyone knew him to be. Suzuka shook her head.  
  
"Please.. Stay here with me. I know.. This is slightly awkward, but with you here I know I won't be afraid." Gene frowned. "And.. We keep our clothes on."  
  
Gene smiled and nodded.  
  
"If that's what you really want, then I'll stay. Just trust me that I won't dishonor you."  
  
They both sank back onto the bed, Gene's arms snaking around Suzuka's waist protectively. The Outlaw sighed and buried his face in her raven hair.  
  
From now on, things would be different. And neither would have to Walk the Stars alone.  
  
END  
  
-~*~-  
  
A/N: OOC, I know. Also, I just wanted to apologize to Aisha fans for saying she was stupid, I was just poking fun at the cat-girl. Same with calling Gene a bumbling idiot. Don't take it seriously! The ending was kinda confusing, but I really liked this story! So please tell me what you think, and as always:  
  
Review, review, review!  
  
Ja ne (bye)!!!  
  
~Nicotai  
  
A.k.a. Fumetsu Hono'o 


End file.
